ATTENTION - ATTENTION
Apr 1st by C.A.There is nothing wrong with your computer. Do not adjust your monitors. We are in control of the transmission.
We are in total control. In control of the posting, in control of the comments, in control of the link lists and the advertising links.
The future is now - freedom is on the march - a new day has arrived.
We repeat there is nothing wrong with your monitor. You are about to participate in a great adventure - you will now experience the awe and mystery that reaches from the rational mind to The Conservative Avenger.
It’s God’s country, by God
Apr 1st at 2:08 am by Rip TruthTellerAt this juncture right before the rapture –for those of us who deserve it, and I’ll wager that the wailing will be deafening in San Francisco and New York when the angels merrily whisk away believers and leave infidels to tear each others brains out with their teeth — for now, we must focus on the here, the now, the sorry state of life in a country that’s forgotten, by God, what it means to be a man, a patriot, a person with very little self control and even less patience for gun control.
Adam didn’t marry Steve, he married Eve.
But I digress. The point is this: It’s about time that the real people of this country, the folks who made America what it is today, the backbone, the breadbasket, the common man (and his helpmate, woman, there to lighten his load, fetch him a beer and shut the hell up) have a place where they can call a spade a spade, a blog for the people, by the people, a place where the backbone of America can proudly proclaim that the truth: That we’re right, and you’re wrong and neener neener neener. We believe in this country, in this president, in this moral crusade against the pansies and the pigmentally challenged, we will continue to offer up our sons as cannon fodder (but better yet, someone else’s sons), we will continue to write screen after screen of nonsensical rantings in defense of a so-called indefensible war, we will bring up Bill Clinton at every opportunity, we will drive sane men to madness with our circular arguments, we will paraphrase and misquote, outright lie and prevaricate, we will join together to baaaah in unison.
Be afraid. Be very afraid. For we rise up against the vile vituperatude of the liberal media and proclaim ourselves today to be CONSERVATIVE AVENGERS.
Darwin’s Teachers Challenged by God
Apr 1st at 12:45 am by Rat PobertsonAmerica’s children bring God to school with them.
Testing Darwin’s Teachers - Los Angeles Times
LIBERTY, Mo. — Monday morning, Room 207: First day of a unit on the origins of life. Veteran biology teacher Al Frisby switches on the overhead projector and braces himself.
As his students rummage for their notebooks, Frisby introduces his central theme: Every creature on Earth has been shaped by random mutation and natural selection — in a word, by evolution.
The challenges begin at once.
“Isn’t it true that mutations only make an animal weaker?” sophomore Chris Willett demands. ” ‘Cause I was watching one time on CNN and they mutated monkeys to see if they could get one to become human and they couldn’t.”
Frisby tries to explain that evolution takes millions of years, but Willett isn’t listening. “I feel a tail growing!” he calls to his friends, drawing laughter.
Unruffled, Frisby puts up a transparency tracing the evolution of the whale, from its ancient origins as a hoofed land animal through two lumbering transitional species and finally into the sea. He’s about to start on the fossil evidence when sophomore Jeff Paul interrupts: “How are you 100% sure that those bones belong to those animals? It could just be some deformed raccoon.”
From the back of the room, sophomore Melissa Brooks chimes in: “Those are real bones that someone actually found? You’re not just making this up?”
“No, I am not just making it up,” Frisby says.
At least half the students in this class of 14 don’t believe him, though, and they’re not about to let him off easy.
Two decades of political and legal maneuvering on evolution has spilled over into public schools, and biology teachers are struggling to respond. Loyal to the accounts they’ve learned in church, students are taking it upon themselves to wedge creationism into the classroom, sometimes with snide comments but also with sophisticated questions — and a fervent faith.
As sophomore Daniel Read put it: “I’m going to say as much about God as I can in school, even if the teachers can’t.”
Such challenges have become so disruptive that some teachers dread the annual unit on evolution — or skip it altogether.
Go get em kiddos!
May the lord make us truly thankfull !
Petition Drive to nominate Bush for Nobel Peace Prize
Apr 1st at 3:35 am by Dank HagnyThank God for the right-blogosphere. If it weren’t for conservative blogs and organizations like PajamasMedia, the only window into the freedom-enhanced utopia that Bush has given as a selfless present to the people of Iraq and the Middle East would be the MSM. The MSM, of course, has a vested interest in seeing America lose in the Global War on Terror, thereby denying the American people access to the truth about the wholesale liberation of the Iraqi people.
Vault Filled With Sweets and Flowers Discovered in Tikrit
Apr 1st at 3:43 am by V. D. Hansen
When Coalition troops were sent off to Iraq, wise presidential counselers like Richard Perle speculated that they would soon find vast stockpiles of anthrax, risin, sarin gas, nuclear warheads, sweets, and flowers.
Leftist commentators had a great time ridiculing our President when the stockpiles failed to materialize in the initial three years of occupation. But now, happily, our leaders have been vindicated and the neo-communist bastards can just shut their traps.
Fox News reporter Geraldo Rivera has gone into Tikrit and uncovered a large stockpile of sweets and flowers, completely overlooked by the ineffectual UNSCOM weapons inspectors.
As usual, I’ve found a parallel in ancient Greek history.
Where’s Osama?
Apr 1st at 5:27 am by Jack Rayn“Where’s Osama?” repeat the left-wing pundit pansies. “Where’s Osama?” chant the liberal latte-drinking traitors as a mantra.
Where’s Osama? Perhaps if you’d watch something else than socialist biased CNN for your information, you’d know where Osama is. If like me, you’d bother asking our real American heroes, our men in uniforms who defend the continental United States against the barbarian invasion of Islamofascists, perhaps you’d know exactly where Osama Bin Laden really is.
After talking to my friend Lt. Col. Markus Coster, I learned
that Osama Bin Laden was captured by the the 19th
Special Forces Group in Afghanistan on May 19th 2004.
But the liberal controlled media as refused to acknowledge
this fact so far. If they would just bother with a Google
search, they would find photographs of the former Al Qaeda
supreme leader jailed in Guantanamo. Maybe it’s better
this way, if they knew, they’d probably want to pay
his caution.
Continue reading this post »
Guns Don’t Kill People, Arabs Kill People
Apr 1st at 8:55 am by inyerrearIt seems that the Islamofascists have jumped onto the gun control bandwagon. As if we didn’t have enough to worry about with the anti-gun nuts in our own backyard! For years Bush had warned us, “they hate our freedom.” And now it’s clear what he meant: they hate our freedom to own firearms.
As you know, I do not hate all towelheads. I recognize that one or two of them aren’t genocidal killers bent on world domination. I may not have ever acknowledged it out loud on this or any other blog, but I thought it. I thought it loud and clear! And yet stories like this challenge even the limits of my tolerance.
I hesitate to say this. War is not something that should be entered into lightly. But the time has come for us to invade this Hamas place. After all, what threatens our security more than a disarmed America? The Hamasians gun confiscation plan threatens us just as much as those WMD ever did in Iraq (did you notice that even liberals are finally acknowledging that Saddam had WMDs? You can’t stay in denial forever!)
Even more than the Iraq war, we should all line up behind Nobel Laureate Bush and demand that Hamas immediately arm. If they continue their destructive path of disarmament, we will have no option but unleash the powers of hell. Only through a prolonged occupation can we remove the threat to my personal firearm collection and assure that the Hamasis enjoy their God-given right to automatic weapons.
Illegal Aliens Need to Learn the Classics
Apr 1st at 9:35 am by V. D. HansenI
know a thing or three about illegal aliens. My father had
illegal aliens, or “wets” as we called them,
on our plantation in California.
What most white people Americans fail to
grasp about them is this: they’re greedy. As soon as
a restaurant or a construction business offers them two or
three dollars an hour, off they go. They are quite eager
to abandon the pastoral life in pursuit of the Almighty Dollar.
That’s all well and good for the construction firms, but I can tell you that it doesn’t get any strawberries picked.
And they barely speak English. I would go out in the fields and try to impart the wisdom of the Ancients, describing in detail the Roman aqueducts and the way the ancient Athenians would fertilize their fields using their own dung. I may as well have been speaking a foreign language.
I even tried demonstrating the fertilization technique, but they just stared blankly, like they’d never seen a man crap in a strawberry field before.
And they’re completely unserious. You can try teaching them ancient fertilization techniques, but as soon as your back is turned, they’ll break into laughter like a pack of hyenas.
Taking the fight against Islamfascism to the Rocky Mountain
Apr 1st at 10:59 am by Dank HagnyFellow Culture-warrior and moonbat-shrinker Jeff Goldstein has just overhauled his blog. Check out the new design!
Flypaper: If You Liked It In Iraq, You’ll Love It In Iran!
Apr 1st at 1:34 pm by V. D. Hansen
First
of all, I’d like to offer a warning to all of my loyal
readers: if you ever find yourself drinking at Jonah Goldberg’s
house, DO NOT, under any circumstances,
allow yourself to pass out. I’m just glad he left my
eyebrows intact.
As for today’s topic of discussion, it’s Iran. Specifically, the necessity of invading it.
I can hear the bedwetters now, mewling about the folly of invading Iran whilst losing in Iraq. There are 2 reasons why this position is wrong:
- We’re not losing in Iraq, we’re winning. Don’t let the Frenchmen at the New York Times confuse you with their stories about how the security situation is so bad that they can’t move around the country. The security situation is only bad in narrow ring surrounding the Green Zone. The rest of the country is as placid as ancient Thebes.
- Flypaper. It worked in Iraq. Al-Qaeda was a joke in Iraq before we arrived. Now the flies have buzzed in from all over the world. There’s so many people shooting at our troops and murdering the locals, you’d think they were springing up right there in Iraq! But that would be silly.
- We can’t let the terrorists win. If I have to explain to you why this means we have to invade Iran, then you’re beyond hope. So I won’t waste my time.
- As I’ve pointed out in the past, the bombing of the al-Askari mosque was the turning point. Clearly, the Iraqi militias have stepped up and are now taking responsibility for security. Since they’re standing up, we can stand around.
- How many reasons did I say there were? Let’s focus on flypaper.
Shut the fuck up, Red State, or I’ll Punch You In the Nose.
Apr 1st at 1:45 pm by JeschelleSome unhinged moonbat on Red State has a fucking problem with my condemnation of that little fucktard Ben Domenech.
Many of us were angered by Michelle Malkin’s dismissive treatment of Ben Domenich as the “troubles” of the past few weeks unfolded. Many of us thought Michelle should have waited to hear Ben’s side of the story. Especially since she knew Ben. To me (and, I suspect, others), it seemed that Michelle was an opportunist here. As I’ve said before, it seems to me that part of Michelle’s schtick is to hunt witches. To be one of the first in the conservative blogosphere to point at an “offender”, yell “J’accuse”–and then, later on, sit back and say “See, I was the first to call for his/her head…”
No shit, Sherlock. It took you that long to figure it out? Fuck,
you’re stupid. As stupid as one of those dumbass criminals
radio morning show hosts always profile, who usually look
something like this:
Continue reading this post »
Rice Hates America!
Apr 1st at 2:02 pm by Jack Milford LawrieA course, come on, “rice?” Couldn’t she name herself “wheat” or “bacon” or something domestic an not associated with the enemies a America?
I can prove that Condoleezza Rice hates America. I’ll start at the beginning. Michelle Malkin warns us:
As always, take Wikipedia with a huge grain of salt, though this entry is pretty straightforward.
Wikipedia provides the proof about the Medium Lobster, namely, that:
The Medium Lobster is a higher being with superior knowledge from beyond space and time.
The Medium Lobster explains everythin else we need to know:
Millions were outraged to learn last December that the president had authorized a warrantless domestic spy program in direct violation of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. The news represented a breach of a sacred trust: a violation not only of law, but of one of the most fundamental social contracts in democratic society. This time, the press had gone too far.
Were it not for the New York Times, the American people would never have been menaced by this rogue information. Oh, terrorists would still be aware the U.S. was trying to wiretap them, but they wouldn’t know it was trying to wiretap them illegally.
Jehovah Knows Best! And boy is He pissed!
Apr 1st at 5:56 pm by Rat PobertsonThank God that there are still those who understand how
important it is that evil
be forced to not just see the light, but to know, really 
know,
deep in their sphincter that the Lord God, who’s glory
holy wrath, will smote, smitie, smitte…. ….be
really mad and do nasty stuff to those who spew sacrilegious
rantings and unpatriotic challenges against the very foundation
that made our country great. GOD BLESS AMERICA. GOD BLESS
OUR GREAT AND GLORIOUS BUSH AND TO HELL WITH ANYONE WHO SAYS
OTHERWISE.
btw … I spoke with God again today…
Continue reading this post »
Jill Carroll Released, Head & Body Still Attached
Apr 1st at 8:21 pm by ConvertaconFeckless little whiner and “journalist”, Jill Carroll, is out of the clutches of the evil would-be headloppers and is no doubt safe at home. It is quite apparent that she was in on this whole “abduction” ruse, which makes me question the abject fatso, Capt. Ed of Captain’s Quarters, due to an insult that I’ve chosen to take personally:
In this event, we gave the terrorists their talking points by jumping to an unfair conclusion. The reaction of people to her statement gave the terrorists credibility that they never would otherwise have had and ensured that their propaganda got the maximum amount of play.
Look Mr. Capt. Sir, I’m a former a Muslim, so I know how terrorists think. I converted to Fundamentalist Christianity right after 9/11,1,2 and this gives me a unique perspective, but one that someone like Debbie Schlussel can sometimes tap into:
So, my alleged friends at National Review Online have taken advantage of my nap to do some more creative shaving, have they? Maybe it’s time you all knew the truth about the juvenile delinquents at the Coroner.
